TOP 5 MOMENTS IN PERTH

If I attempt a recap, it would never come up to the standards of Sime, especially since I wasn't there half the time. So instead I'm going to do a countdown.


TOP 5 MOMENTS IN PERTH

5. BRINGING AYC TO KINGS PARK
Hilarity: 5
Absurdity: 4
Niceonezity 5

This day would have scored higher if it wasn't so DAM COLD.
Still, a day that ends with 90s karoke in AJTan's car is fine by me!

4. CAN READ MY, CAN READ MY POKER FACE
Hilarity: 7
Absurdity: 6
Niceonezity: 7

Nate was the instigator of this one. I think he was just itching to play something other than 'mmmchchmmmchtookatookatookatookadonkadonka' (or as Song thinks -tonkatonka. Oh, er, um, NO. WRONG.) So anyway, I was going REALLY WELL. With Sime as my inner voice, he really put off my opponents

NESS

(shows Sime a 2 and 6)

SIME

WOW NESS. JUST WOW. YOU'RE GOING TO WIN IT! ALL IN! ALL IN!!!!!

NESS

Er, really? Do you think that's a good ide...

SIME

NESS. I'M TELLING YOU. JUST WOW. YOU COULD BEAT ANYONE WITH THOSE CARDS.

Ness wins that round.

Next round...

NESS

(shows Sime double ace)

SIME

WOW NESS. JUST WOW. YOU'RE GOING TO WIN IT! ALL IN! ALL IN!!!!!

NESS
Er, really? Do you think that's a good ide...

SIME

NESS. I'M TELLING YOU. JUST WOW. YOU COULD BEAT ANYONE WITH THOSE CARDS.

You see. We bluffed TOGETHER. And as soon as he left to "spy" on Nathan, my days were over. I lost so badly I still cry at night.
That night also bore one the greatest lines of camp:

NATE

I use 'dangerously straight' shampoo

TIM

Shampoo can't make you straight Nathan.

3. WET PANTS DAY

Hilarity: 6
Absurdity: 2
Niceonezity: 8

Wet pants day - where everyone listened to KFang and got their pants wet. KFang's advice consisted of 'CATAMARAN + WATER = NO SWIMMERS NECESSARY'

And since I am a non-boater, or non-water person in general, I listened to KFang...and got my pants wet.

Being with the dream team (Song and KC) was also hilarious because it took us the 16th turn to realise we didn't actually have to let the sail SWING to the other side of the boat when we turn, but if we hold it, near-death experiences were avoided. We also christened our boat 'THE HOTTIE'. No reason really. But it does add 2 absurdity points to the day. Score.
Half the aloe vera green goo was used that day too. Score!

2. WHAT NOT TO WEAR BY TRINNY AND SUSSANAH EMP AND KFANG
Hilarity: 8
Absurdity: 10
Niceonezity: 9

Friday night was SO RANDOM. KFang said one little comment (which I now can't remember, something about my burnt forehead) which started a whole 4 hour discussion on how to compliment the opposite sex and WHAT NOT TO WEAR. Take note ladies, and especially gentlemen, here is an abridged version of that list (remember, this is according to the opp. sex, so really, now we know the guys know nothing about fashion):

GUYS SHOULD BURN THE FOLLOWING:
- V-neck T-shirts (with chest hair)
- white socks with black shoes and pants (COUGH COUGH)
- boardies as everyday wear
- short sleeved business shirts
- rude cartoon/writing shirts
- their lifetime supply of hairgel

GIRLS SHOULD FOLD UP NICELY AT THE BACK OF THEIR CLOSET THE FOLLOWING:
- flared jeans
- overalls
- skanky anything
- really bright colours
- glittery things except on Max (phew, close one)
- platform wedges
- knee high boots, esp. slouchy types
- dresses that don't skim waist (the pregnant ones, even though they're REALLY comfortable)

AND THE FOLLOWING GOES FOR EVERYONE:
- crocs
- g-strings
- too much makeup

1. I'LD RATHER BE WHITE FACE THAN DOUBLE RED FACE
Hilarity: 7
Absurdity: 6
Niceonezity: 10

On Saturday, we went to a beach (no I can't remember the name of it, this is what happens when I have no responsiblities) and it was PURE BLISS. I overloaded on sunscreen because that is what Ruldoph the red nosed reindeer would do, and sat in the shade of a tree lording over the burning pieces of human meat on the sand.
Water was GREAT.
Fish and chips + icypole was GREAT.
Pride & prejudice audio book was GREAT.
Sticking sticks in between my delicate toes was NOT.

All in all, a very blessed holiday. Perth water should still drown in itself though.

P.S. Photo uploading is not going well. Expect them on Facebook in the next 20 years. Thanks.